Wrestling With An Angel
Dana Hawkins knows what it means to struggle with difficult circumstances: a challenging childhood, an eating disorder, clinical depression, suicidal thoughts, debilitating physical pain, financial struggles, court battles to adopt a needy child‚ to name a few.
Describing the heavy state of her mind while in depression, she speaks of the hopelessness, the anger, the very real feeling that she is seeing life through a film, that she is somehow separate and removed from those around her.
But in her honesty, she also reaches out for and holds on to faith:
I don't ever give myself a back door. There is no alternate escape route. I made up my mind long ago that being a Christian was a lifelong decision. That cinches the deal no matter what lies ahead. That's not to say I've never felt like quitting. I certainly have been tempted when things have been incredibly difficult. But because that has already been ruled out as an option, the only choice I'm left with is making it through to the other side.
She longs for heaven in a way that will make you feel she has already been there, and is eager to return:
Being at home with the Lord is something I long for with everything in me. I allow it to be very real to me. I try and capture it as much as my five senses will allow.
Dana's story speaks to all of us because we all wrestle with pain, loss and hurt. No exceptions. If we are human, we will have challenges. If we are faithful, we will make it through to the dawn of God's blessings‚ in this life and the life to come.
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